Janet Solomon's Diary - Episode 8

Janet Solomon's Diary - Episode 8

My love encounter was becoming intense at this stage, because Eseme had showed me so much love, that I couldn't understand myself...

Continue reading the story.

I don’t know why, but I felt so much love. My nerves kept been active, and the eighty shades of red before me started to swim in my eyes, forcing them to keep looking at him. My eyes looked away from him and took hold of something else, only when he looked at me. I steadied myself, staring intently into the love before me. I breathed heavily, and began counting to eighty.  It was silly though.

It was a very bright, lazy, Friday afternoon, some days after we ran from the family house. I saw a cloud in the sky and I tried to give it shape. For a moment, I thought it was a heart, and realized I was only imagining. I looked again and thought then it was him hugging me, but it was just infatuation. Sighing, I looked away from the sky that was gathering for the rain.

We had found another uncompleted building and were staying there, but quite vigilant of any impending danger. 

They might keep looking for us. I thought to myself. But I want to have spent enough time with Eseme before that happens. Apart from that, something deep inside me, a snarling, bestial force told me my aunt and big daddy were a disaster to the human race. The creature was in darkness, like the one that would prompt someone to take up arms and kill anyone that would has done wrong in the past.

Anyway, I still remember how I met Eseme. I decided right away that he was the one guy that would be my own forever. He did some things to me, even after we left the family house, but when you’re in love, you forgive.

And like all good heroes in all good stories, he had to prove himself worthy of my affection in a truly unforgettable feat of strength – he had done that twice now, and reassured me several times, but he still had to continue.

One day, I was at ‘home’ when he appeared all of a sudden, he was wearing something that attracted my sexual instinct. I sat there watching him with my eyes on his crotch, wordless, sweating under a cold weather.

Don’t castigate me because I was thinking about having sex with him; I was already defiled and the experience had come to me; don’t know if it was supposed to be natural knowledge or unwilled knowledge.

He smiled at me as he came closer. Then he told me he had brought two kids home and asked if he was permitted to allow them in. Hesitantly, I replied:

“Na me get the house?”

“Just answer”.

I looked at him with so much intensity.

In the night, he only hugged me, and sometimes I felt his crotch move up and down but I only ignored, just as he ignored my mindful advances at him. These new family members might halt all that.

“Abeg, go bring them. Why you go dey ask me that kind question? Dem get another house dem wan go?”

I think he was just afraid to have sex with me, just as he was afraid to tell me he liked me. He was also afraid not to take any decision that might send me further away from him.

Well… fortunately, the people he brought were two boys, two small boys, and I felt safer than before. Safer that I could still have sex with him, and that if any danger arose, I would be ably protected.

I quickly introduced myself to the boys.

“Una welcome. How una dey?”

They felt afraid, but I assured them that there were safe, especially where Eseme was around.

We gave them the little food we planned on eating later in the night, and asked them to tell their stories after that.

It was awful, but without bias, I still believed mine was nothing to write home about. Domestic and sexual abuse for one human being?

We immediately told them how we survive and they agreed to do what we do. They were from the same house. Their parents dead, but family members thought the house was too big for such small kids, and so sent them away after torturing the heck out of them. They kept repeating that they were the ones that killed their parents, because they were from the spirit world.

That night, he told me he noticed my advances towards him, but he was just afraid of doing anything with me, because of how I experienced sex first-hand.

I was dumbfounded, but not quite surprised. I knew he was afraid but not because he was still thinking of my rape experiences.

I felt more love for him, because I felt he was putting himself in my shoes, thinking what he thought I was thinking. But I was on the way to forgetting all those experiences and move on with my life and so I told him:

“Eseme, forget wetin happen to me for my aunty house. I don comot for there, I know say e no fit happen again, especially as you dey my side”.

“I sabi wetin you dey talk but I still dey feel for you. I dey wonder everyday how you take survive all those…”

I put my fingers on his mouth and kissed him. He felt lit. I noticed his crotch up again. He returned the kiss. But we slept that night only gisting and talking about how we were to help those new family members.

To be continued…